i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize