I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
