Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
