Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are two peas in an std pod
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
