If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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