All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
