I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
