just tell him i said nine months
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
