can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
