I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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