Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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