She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
