she looked like the before picture.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
