i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
third nipple confirmed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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