Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
