4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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