the day after is always just damage control
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
