Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
