there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
dude. I can hear the air.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
