So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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