Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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