thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
