well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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