I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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