soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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