So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
