For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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