he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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