I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
