I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
