im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
