He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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