either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
