we have officially lost it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
