its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
