A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
