i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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