Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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