i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
