Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
