People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
