He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
