I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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