She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
