around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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