Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
