I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
honey bunches of taint.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
