I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
her vagine was all disorganized.
high people should be assigned attendants
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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