My friends, they love my intelligence
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
