it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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