1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
