I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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