Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
