and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
