hotel room ftw
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
