I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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