i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
