Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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