would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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