The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
