I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
