i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
