Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
