Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
