I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
