the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
