i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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