i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
