The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The ass gains better be worth it
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