I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
