I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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