We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
