I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
