You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
